Please Mrs Butler
This boy Derek Draper
Keeps being filthy, Miss
And he writes on electronic paper

The LabourList and Red Rag bloggers - Damian McBride, Paul Staines (aka Guido Fawkes) and Derek Draper

Do try and ignore his screen dear
Try to not smell the stink
Lose your disgust at the pub, my lamb
Do whatever you think

Please Mrs Butler
This boy Guido Fawkes
Does just the same as Derek, Miss
He writes and plays and stalks

Keep it out of your head, dear
Pray for another arrest
Swallow it, if you like, my love
Do whatever you think best

Please Mrs Butler
This boy Damien McBride
Keeps telling dirty tales, Miss
But he keep his friends onside

Put wax in your ears, dear
Choose not to see
Do whatever you can, my flower
But please don’t ask me!

(With apologies to Allan Ahlberg)

Suggestions for amendements and improvements welcome in the comments…